Sunday, September 11, 2005

Jim, I am the orphan.

It's a bitter truth about me..sorry

Hi Jim! Day’s wonderful today and weather is good. It's a pity that an
autumn already soon, but it's now still warm. The sun shines within all
day today. I write the letter to you and my happiness has no a limit.
And what concerning your weather? Is it warm still?? Today after work
I’ll go home on foot. I like to go along the street and to breathe fresh
air. I’m especial when weather is warm. I don’t want to go home

At home it’s very boring and lonely. I don’t mention it, but sometimes
when I come home with good mood I want to speak and share ideas with
somebody very much. But my apartment is empty also I’d be in full
loneliness. My good mood disappears at such moments. I simply sit in an
armchair and I look in a window. The silence deafens me when I hear as my
blood flows in my veins. I hear movement of my eyelashes. At this moment
to me my heart becomes intolerable also compresses.

I should tell you my secret though I don't know is a secret or not in
general...Jim, I'm the orphan. I haven't family. It's sad, but it's so.
My mother died when I was 18 years old. Three years before her death my
mom has damage in road accident. She was standing in the street and she
was knocked down by a car. Probably the driver was strongly drunk,
because the witnesses said that the car moved by zigzag and suddenly
appeared on pavement. But I don't want to speak about it more. Is it
important for you in general?

I don’t know what to do with it. I can listen to music or read the
book sometimes but loneliness make me mad. In some moment I understand,
that I only deceive myself. Actually I want, that the beloved person was
near to me. The person with whom I might spend evenings both meet
morning and think about tomorrow's day. I want to go and feel that the
strong hand of the person holds my hand. I don’t want to prepare for food
only for me directly. I want, that someone has estimated it. But it’s
enough about it. Excuse me for my frankness please..I wish you good day
and I look forward to hearing tomorrow.